


Drunken Rails

by timeblitz



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Jail, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 20:46:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7453399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeblitz/pseuds/timeblitz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat has to go pick up a mischievous pair of moirails from jail and is not pleased.</p>
<p>(This one feels a bit weird, I'm not quite sure if I like how it turned out. Oh well)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drunken Rails

Grumbling to himself, Karkat pushed open the doors to the police station. This was the third time this week he had been forced out of bed to come here and he was sick and tired of it. He was starting to regret ever introducing the pair that had caused this.

“They’re in the back, third cell on the right. You know the way.” A voice interrupted him from his inner rantings. Karkat muttered a quiet thanks before heading back. The police were starting to get chummy with him, that obviously meant this was getting to be a problem. He was definitely planning to chew the two out. Maybe an intervention was in order. 

Karkat came to a stop in front of the aforementioned cell. He looked the two up and down, assessing their current state. Sollux was leaning up against the wall, head tilted back and sparking a bit around the eyes. Dave was laying in his lap and oh no, oh fuck no. “You dyed your fucking hair?” He hissed, staring at the now pink haired, self titled coolkid. “I mean, it’s not a tattoo but what the actual fuck!” Dave raised a hand to flip him off and Sollux snickered to himself. 

The woman who gave him directions before bustled into the room, keys in hand. “I’d have to check, but I think these two egged someone’s house? Oh, and I believe they broke into the Bestbuy and somehow managed to put porn on all the tvs. I heard that was pretty funny.” She had an amused look as she unlocked the door. “I’ll go get the paperwork, one minute please.” Karkat thought she was much too cheerful. 

Karkat watched her leave for a moment before heading into the room. First thing he did was slap each of them. Then he sat down next to them, a stern look on his face. “I fucking hate you guys.”

 

“Love you too.” Dave slurred. He was drunk, of course he was. After a closer look at Sollux, Karkat decided the yellow blood was too. He wasn’t sure if he was disgusted by their crimes of the night or impressed. Maybe a little bit of both. He could already tell who had come up with each part. Dave would have spewed something about how ironic the basics could be while Sollux would’ve been itching to get his hands on the technology in the store. 

“Next time, you two are on your own. I refuse to come get you again. This is fucking ridiculous.” Karkat spat, doing his best to make his words full of poison to get the point across. “You know what? No. No next time. If you do this again I will personally punish the both of you. The gods will take pity on you. I’ll strike with the force of a thousand goddamn suns!” 

He was going off on a tangent now but didn’t really care. Dave pushed himself up from Sollux’s lap and crawled into Karkat’s. “Okay man. I get what you're saying. Buuuuut, how about you rant our ears off tomorrow? None of this is even registering now. Going in one ear and right out the other.”

“Plus, it’ll be even worse then. Hangovers and shit.” Sollux added in, his lisp even worse while drunk. Karkat had almost assumed he had passed out but nope, asshole number two has made his contribution. He did have a point though. Karkat was aware they just didn’t want to deal with him but he’d go with it for now. With a huff, he reluctantly gave in. Dave had pressed his face into the crook of Karkat’s neck and was muttering to himself. Karkat opted to ignore his ramblings, they were mostly nonsense anyways. 

A knock at the cell door grabbed his attention. The lady was back with papers in hand. With a sigh, Karkat pushed Dave off of him and got up. Dave gave a small whine of protest and curled up on the floor. Great idea Dave, let’s take a fucking nap. 

It didn’t take too long for Karkat to fill out their release papers, as said before, this wasn’t the first time he had to go do this. Sarah (Great, now he was learning names. That was definitely a sign he came around far too often.), took the papers and told him she’d be calling later to confirm a few things. After that, they were free to go. 

“You’re carrying him.” Karkat said in a flat tone, staring down at Dave.

“Why me? You’re his matesprite!” Sollux complained, stumbling on his feet as he got up.

“You’re his moirail! And, you’re the reason he’s passed out on the floor! You two are awful!” Sollux stuck his tongue out at the other but got to work heaving Dave up from the floor anyways. 

Only after he had Dave in his arms and they were out the door did Karkat mention he left the car at home and they’d have to walk. This resulted in even more protest that Karkat took with a sly look. Revenge was sweet, even in small amounts. He really was going to chew them out though, no way around that.


End file.
